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hardware store

23 Aug

yesterday my boss asked me to return some keys to the hardware store.

(the keys didn’t work).

it…didn’t exactly go as planned.

an excerpt from the note i left her explaining why:

The couple who owns the hardware store were SO RUDE. They wouldn’t take the keys back because they “came with a guarantee.”

I said,”Oh a guarantee that they won’t work? I see…”

They finally agreed to let me return the keys. But not without demanding a receipt.

I said, “What kind of person would keep a receipt for something that is GUARANTEED to work?”

I told them to just forget it, that I didn’t need my money back. As I left the store I could hear them complaining loudly.

“No one accepts returns without a receipt,” the woman said. “Not even K-mart.”

I paused at the door.

I turned to the woman.

“I can hear you,” I said, “And I don’t shop at K-mart.”

It made me wonder what makes people turn so bitter, what makes them be so mean to other people.

I always try to be polite…although it doesn’t always work out…

To summarize:
1. Guarantees aren’t real.
2. Always try to be polite.
3. I still hate hardware stores.

personal assistant

17 Aug

I recently started working as a personal assistant for a local musician. I can’t comment on her personality because she might read this. Just watch the above clip and it will all make sense.

A sampling of some of my duties:

-booking shows/hanging posters
-cleaning (disgusting) basement
-creating lists of plausible excuses of why she can’t make it to family get-togethers
-scheduling std testing appointments
-scheduling dates
-grocery shopping
-serving as personal muse/inspiration for songs
-wardrobe styling

Rules:
1.I must write Merriam-Webster’s word of the day on the mirror and use it at least 3 times in conversation with my boss.
2.If she sends me a text that she deems funny, I must respond with no less than ten “ha-has”.
3. Must raise my hand and wait to be acknowledged if she is here and I have a question.

But I have a desk now. I feel validated as an adult.

(isanyonehiringpleasehelp)

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